What Every Child Needs, part 2

1. Meaningful Touch
When it comes to demonstrating physical affection, most of us are severely constipated. Much has been written about the healing, nurturing power of touch, and it's tragic when this is neglected in what should be the safest most affirming place on earth for your kids. Use your arms & your eyes & your lips to send--without words--a life-changing message to your kids--and not just to your 2- and 3-year-olds but to your 12- and 13-year-olds, and 20- and 30-year-olds. It's very important. Don't worry about going overboard. Have you ever heard, "I am so messed up because as a kid my parents just slobbered all over me!" Yeah, me neither.

2. Spoken Words
While the tongue has the power to destroy, it also has the power to enrich and edify. These words should ring out relentlessly in the hallways of our homes, building up those we love:

Words of affection. Over and over the words, "I love you," should be spoken from husband to wife, from wife to husband, from children to parents, from parents to children.

Words of reconciliation. Those who live most closely with you know your flaws the best. Yet when was the last time you said to your family, "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me"? If we're not saying those words, we are failing big-time.

Words of vision. We bless our children with hope and confidence when we paint a picture of effectiveness regarding their lives. "You're going to do something great with your life." "God's going to use your life in such a cool way."

Words of security. When my kids were small, I used to ask them almost every day, "How long will you be mine?" They would quickly respond, "Forever!" It was our little game, but it signified something very important.

The problem, of course, is that spoken words take time. Too many parents can't believe how fast the years have slipped away, and ache about all the things they wanted to communicate--but never did. I praise God for a father and a mother who understood this. I hope yours did and if not, that you do.

3. Spiritual Vision
Cast a vision for your kids of their spiritual influence and contribution. Tell them that you notice the way God has gifted them. God help us if our primary vision for them is educational, athletic, or social, instead of spiritual.
When our kids were younger I told them, "Your mom and I are believing God for some fantastic kingdom purposes to be accomplished through you! God gave you gifts and abilities that must be put to use for Him. He wants to use your life."

Your children desperately need you to see them and affirm them. God forgive us for our silence when our words could make such a difference, for withholding a hug or an arm around their shoulder when they're starving for connection, or forgetting what it's like to be 6 or 16, facing an overwhelming world. Proverbs 3:27 says, "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it." That's the blessing.

Help each other by example and in testimony. How have you been blessed or blessed another? Who can you bless? Who do you know is withering away without it? Let's get this done today.

I've written more about this in the double booklet, "How to Bless Your Child"/ "How to Honor Your Parents"